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The Metrobay Chronicles: Original Sin 
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Post The Metrobay Chronicles: Original Sin
I have posted to the free area the first cover for our new story, "Original Sin". Ever wonder how the first incarnation of the Superheroine squad got together, and what sort of evil peril they faced in their first adventures? Well wonder no longer! "Original Sin" will fill in all the sexy details!

http://free.hipcomix.com/gallery2/v/HIP ... 1.jpg.html

Issue 1 comes this Sunday, June 15. Don't miss it!

- Doc


Last edited by Doctor Robo on Sun Sep 07, 2008 2:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:43 am
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Now doesn't this look interesting! Can't wait to see the origins of such an amazing group. ... with the nice promise of some sinful activities as well. :D


Wed Jun 11, 2008 4:07 pm
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Post Members Area Update for 6/15: "Original Sin"
Now available at HIPComix... "Original Sin" the story of the first group of heroines to be called the Superheroine Squad!

http://free.hipcomix.com/gallery2/v/HIP ... 1.jpg.html

We take you back to a simpler time, when Metrobay wasn't quite the bustling burgh that it has become today. The Great War had just ended, and for the first time in a while people were feeling pretty good about themselves. That is, until a secret cabal of wealthy elite joined together with the goal of ruling Metrobay with an iron fist. By hiring two villainous refugees from across the ocean, this secret society hoped to turn science fiction into real science and unleash their patricular brand of perverted lawlessness on the city's unsuspecting populace. First on the agenda: creating an unstoppable squadron of obedient female super-soldiers to wipe out any resistance to their evil plan. But, the project is still in the experimental phase, so who will serve as the test subjects for this fiendish plot? Find out in the premiere issue of "Original Sin", created by Finister Foul and Doctor Robo and available exclusively at HIPComix.com!

http://memberslogin.hipcomix.com/galler ... ster-Foul/


Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:45 am
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Looks good to start.

Just one thing: "Frau Brust". Calling her "Herr Brust" is, well, calling her "Mister Brust" in German.


Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:19 am
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Love the new miniseries!

I love the zombot idea. Can't wait to see her in action. I love the scandalous zombot outfit! The headphones are a little large for my taste, but they are ok if other people like them (only a minor criticism -- feel free to ignore it!).

Keep up the great work!

- BH


Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:27 am
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Qallunaq wrote:
Just one thing: "Frau Brust". Calling her "Herr Brust" is, well, calling her "Mister Brust" in German.


This is true, sort of. I did some research and the word "Herr" is equivalent to "Lord" in German. Unfortunately for our purposes there isn't really an equivalent to "Lady". I guess that the Nazis didn't really expect there to be women in positions of authority so they didn't come up with a feminine version of the title.

Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong...

- Doc


Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:33 am
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I don't mind the headphones. ;)

Yes, another evil genius story (although he seems to have a submissive streak...unless he plans to do something evil to his partner later on)!

Loving it!

P

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vestia wrote:
:twisted: I agree with Pelusa1ca.

leto17 wrote:
I second pelusa1ca on all counts.

Small time villian working my way up the ranks of Metrobay's crime organizations...


Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:04 am
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Doctor Robo wrote:
Qallunaq wrote:
Just one thing: "Frau Brust". Calling her "Herr Brust" is, well, calling her "Mister Brust" in German.


This is true, sort of. I did some research and the word "Herr" is equivalent to "Lord" in German. Unfortunately for our purposes there isn't really an equivalent to "Lady". I guess that the Nazis didn't really expect there to be women in positions of authority so they didn't come up with a feminine version of the title.

Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong...

- Doc


The way it would be done is to add the standard -in to the word to indicate a woman. Thus, in this case Herrin. Which, conveniently enough, means "mistress".

"Frau" is used these says instead of the (you'd think) direct equivalent "Herrin" for "Herr" for the same reason that in English we call someone "Miss" or "Mrs" or "Ms" instead of what the word actually should be (and those three are corruptions of): Mistress. The word "Mistress" has had its common meaning shift through the years, so using it as a common title for a woman would get, at best, odd looks. It's the same way for men "Master" became "Mister".


Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:30 am
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The zombot idea is great. I love the outfit as well, and thanks for including a girl with short black hair as your first victim! I loved how she was just staring straight ahead as Burst played with her breasts. I do think it would be nice if zombots could get horny and come, albeit in a mechanistic and zombielike yet instinctual fashion, but I love the idea of them being unable to really speak coherently or conducting any sort of real thought that you apparently are possibly doing here. The settings are also well-done. Thanks for the attention to detail.

Brust is also great, playing the scheming dom to a T, and her outfit
is perfect. However, I doubt she'd be able to walk down the street in it. Feelix is nice and creepy.

Great work so far in any event!


Last edited by leto17 on Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:42 pm
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Awesome does not even begin to describe this new comic. But I'll say it anyway. Awesome job with art and writing!


Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:19 pm
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Qallunaq wrote:
The way it would be done is to add the standard -in to the word to indicate a woman. Thus, in this case Herrin. Which, conveniently enough, means "mistress".


I thought long and hard about that, but in the end I figured that if I did use that particular term for Kikka it might cause some confusion among my more loyal readers. Anyone who has read "Mad Science" knows what I am talking about, and the use of that word as a last name is NOT coincidental...

- Doc


Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:18 pm
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Post 
Doctor Robo wrote:
Qallunaq wrote:
The way it would be done is to add the standard -in to the word to indicate a woman. Thus, in this case Herrin. Which, conveniently enough, means "mistress".


I thought long and hard about that, but in the end I figured that if I did use that particular term for Kikka it might cause some confusion among my more loyal readers. Anyone who has read "Mad Science" knows what I am talking about, and the use of that word as a last name is NOT coincidental...

- Doc


*shrug* Writer's discretion. It's a minor nit, but but I write and edit and review myself, so things like that catch me. If it is knowingly breaking the rules, that's fine.

One way to have gotten around it was to have actually made her a member of the German aristocracy: in real life, a lot of aristocrats joined the Nazi party and SS, so she wouldn't have been out of place (well, other than being a woman, of course, but it is a comic). That way her title or common courtesy title could have been used: Frau, Baronin, Freiherrin, Vizgrafin, Grafin.


Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:54 pm
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Qallunaq wrote:
*shrug* Writer's discretion. It's a minor nit, but but I write and edit and review myself, so things like that catch me. If it is knowingly breaking the rules, that's fine.

One way to have gotten around it was to have actually made her a member of the German aristocracy: in real life, a lot of aristocrats joined the Nazi party and SS, so she wouldn't have been out of place (well, other than being a woman, of course, but it is a comic). That way her title or common courtesy title could have been used: Frau, Baronin, Freiherrin, Vizgrafin, Grafin.


That's a good point. I had thought about making her a Baroness or something similar, but I guess it slipped my mind.

From one writer to another I do appreciate you taking the time to offer up your opinions. Feedback, in whatever form it appears, is always respected and most welcome.

- Doc


Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:01 pm
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Whether it be neither Herr nor Frau, its still a good story.

I had to do it, it was just calling me to do it. I couldn't help it. :)

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Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:14 pm
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brainhusk wrote:
Love the new miniseries!

The headphones are a little large for my taste, but they are ok if other people like them (only a minor criticism -- feel free to ignore it!).



Hmm, for 1946, that headphone set looks pretty small compared to the massive headsets that the military was using back then. I think it fits for a mad scientist to "sleek" it down a bit. I know you said a minor criticsim Brainhusk, but I wanted to comment on how they seemed to fit the time of the story.

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Check out American Amazon (a.k.a Freedom Broad)
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Metrobay Encyclopedia entry: http://metrobay.wetpaint.com/page/Ameri ... zon?t=anon


Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:25 pm
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No worries. I agree. I'm lovin' it!

Can't get over that hot little uniform. And the mindless, silent zombot! awesome!


Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:34 pm
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I'm adding "zombot" to my word of the year. It's so much better than "truthiness". :D

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Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:23 am
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I was originally just going to call them 'zombies', but that conjured up too much unsexy living dead type imagery. I am glad that you all like the name. I needed a catchy term to go with those smoking hot costumes Finister created!

- Doc


Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:32 am
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Post Part two cover posted
Hello all... I have posted the cover for issue #2 of "Original Sin". It looks like Kikka Brust wants to take her new zombot for a test drive!

http://free.hipcomix.com/gallery2/v/HIP ... r.jpg.html

Also, I may have forgotten to mention it before but a prequel to this story exists in Finister Foul's Lair. I could be mean and make you look for it, but I'm in a good mood so... enjoy!

http://memberslogin.hipcomix.com/galler ... ge+part+1/

- Doc


Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:34 pm
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I KNEW some of those characters were familiar! Great to see it tie together somehow. Is it wrong to have the hots for a Nazi chick?... Hey, if Indy was cool with it, I can be too. :P And cheers for hottie Agent Darling being so sexy.


Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:08 pm
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